Erik looked in the direction Ray was staring, and snorted. “No, you couldn’t.”

“I could so. As a ninja, I have all the necessary skills. Balance, strength, dexterity – ” He counted off the points on his fingers.

“If you went around without a shirt on, I’d personally call the police and have you arrested for indecent exposure.”

Ash snickered.

“It’s not indecent exposure if it’s a guy, Thor.”

“I’ll tell them I’m a feminist and think the fact that a guy can go around topless while a girl can’t is sexist.”

“You’re not an anything-ist.”

“I’ll lie.”

Ray made a face. “Nice to see you’re in touch with your inner lying bastard, Thor.”

“Thor’s point, while true, is made irrelevant by the fact that you couldn’t do the job,” Ash put in dryly. “Even with your, um . . .”

“Mighty ninja muscles?” Erik suggested with a laugh.

“Yes, even with those, you couldn’t do the job, Fujimoto.”

“Why not?” Ray frowned, clearly insulted.

“While I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of lifting the mass of, say, one of those boards, your stature combined with their length would create a rather awkward imbalance, and you’d fall on your ass.”

“You might have trouble,” Ray said grandly, “but some of us aren’t lightweight – Christ!” He yelped as Ash calmly spun around, his knee contacting with Ray’s stomach and his hands grabbing Ray’s shoulders.

Erik watched, bemused, as Ash and Ray fell to the ground in a fighting, swearing heap. After a minute, Ash stood up, brushing his hands on his knees. “You know, Ash, beyond the whole issue of assault, don’t you think the good people of Saskatoon will be kind of miffed about you leaving bodies lying around like that? It’s sort of like littering.”

Ash shrugged. “He’ll get up. He always does.”

Erik sighed agreement.